It seems like a stupid question, I know, but let me explain…
Booze can turn us all into a bevy of colorful things but the scariest thing? There is absolutely no way to predict how you’ll act when you’re buzzed, drunk, or (God forbid) blacked out. Seriously, think about that. You could be dealing with any character when facing the consequences of a decision to drink too much. The higher your blood alcohol, the lower your inhibitions and out pops your inner “woo-hoo!” girl or unfortunately your best Mel Gibson impression. (Hey. I’m not condoning, I’m just saying.)
As an alcoholic in recovery I often think about what it’s like to pretend to be drunk. You know, like you might have done in the early years to be cute or to fit in? Thanks to my affinity for mind-numbing I have never actually experienced this. Sometimes I laugh, reminiscing on the times when I’d see someone drink one wine cooler and get giggly or overly touchy because they were a “lightweight”. They are usually dancing and they ALWAYS love you. I’m not rolling my eyes, you are.
Or there’s the alternative: someone who drinks an entire bottle to the head and acts like a massive clown. Yelling instead of speaking, aggressive about everything, way too close for Corona, and can typically be found urinating in inappropriate places. We’ll call this one the role model type. Chances are there’s one in every family... Yikes.
So what’s the first thing that most of these characters have in common? There’s usually an apology tour the next day followed by an “I don’t know what I was thinking, I was so drunk” shame statement that’s supposed to lessen the guilt but never really does. I have been this person. I have also seen this person. They can usually explain away a drunk and disorderly pretty convincingly. (To themselves.)
The second commonality and something I’ve realize that most people don’t care to admit? They often knowingly act a fool while drinking. MOST people know exactly what they’re doing when they’ve consumed too much and they simply don’t care. That’s why the excuse “sorry, I was drunk!” quickly became met with an “apology not accepted.”
Sometimes the tendency to be destructive is biological. We don’t often need help with it so here’s the challenging question:
Did I really say/do things because I was drunk?
Did I get drunk as an excuse to say/do the things I wanted?
My point is this: no, booze has never embarrassed you. Not really. In reality you have always held the power in your decisions and that always starts at the first sip. Drink responsibly right? Water doesn’t get you married in Vegas people.